self loathing.

i feel such loathing for myself right now, but for no gain.
It would be worth it for the shot of adrenalin to get me through but noooo. Nothin. Just cold hard and rock solid procrastination.
Why can't the rest of my life be this consistent?
i wrote up a list of wants and needs for this holodays.
Needs: drama assignment, you know the one mariah, the one that you only get one chance to do. No more writing assesments for the assesments to back you up.
And art assignment.
What have i acheived? Nill.

Istead i wated all my time on the wants. Doing stuff that i can't do while schools still on. Stuff like reading, watching movies, sleepovers, outings. But, not much of that stuff went down either.

I am a hermit. If i could just live in bed, i would. I could probably live without social interaction as well. Secretlly.

You know what i've been doing instead?

Wacthing veronica mars. Religiously, obsessively.

I love that show, but seriously. Not cool. Antisocial and, just waste of time stuff. I invited erin over... And we watched veronica mars. Very social and heart warming. It is a wonderful show, but just a heads up, i now consider everyone to be capable of murder. You are all suspects. I i am suspicious of everyone.
All my friends are alright, all adults are dangerous and capable of killing me, all males are capable of rape and all girls are capable of being secretly involved in gangs. All teachers are pedophiles and and all children are disturbed and emotionally abused.

Sigh. Don't worry. It's just a phase. But for now, i got my eye on you blog readers.