Flash

It's so strange meeting people for the first time in the flesh, if all you know of them is from photographs.

Some people I have seen countless pictures of them. They are always there, trapped in the pose. Trapped in that moment.

And then you finally meet them, and you see their whole being. You hear their voice, see their expressions, see the way they walk. You can almost see their aura.

Meeting people is a strange and wonderful thing. But I am blessed to know the people I know the way that i do.

My Mummy

(inspired by adam thomas)

i don't tell my mum nearly enough, but i love her.

she lives by example and has shown me the most selfless, unconditional love imaginable. And the conditions have been tough in our lives.if i grow to be half like her, i will be proud.

honestly and truly, everything i do is to make this person proud.

<3

Just Be Happy.

I learnt a valuable lesson today: to just be happy.

Joy shouldn't come from circumstances, but from God alone. So Just Be Happy!

I was sad today. I woke up early, prepared to do my Ancient assignment, but my mum asked me very nice to babysit Amity for a couple of hours while she went to the shops before her course.
So i agreed.
Soon enough, it was time for me to go to work.
I went to work for four hours, feeling slightly sick that i wasn't working on my assignment, but comforted by the fact that i was making money.
Then at the end of my shift, i counted my till as per usual to find that i was about $50 under.
So, as Foodworks policy, I had to pay it back.
Thats my whole shift and a bit gone. That whole 4 hours that i could've been working on my assignment, wasted.
I was cool with that. Stiff upper lip.
Then the managers came in, and they were all like "we've told you time and time again to count your money back, not that we care, you're the one that has to pay for it."
then i was all like "but i DO count the money back"
and they were all like "no you do NOT"
and i was all like "....okay then"
it was fine, i walked out of the office, and i slightly felt like crying. My lip was quivering but that was alright. Then i went into the bathroom to get changed an i started crying then. Just a little bit. But then i slapped my face and said "HARDEN UP, MARIAH!"
SO i walked out fresh faced. By this stage, it was raining. Then i rang Adam to tell him i'd finished work, but unfortunately my mum took the car with the baby seat so i had to walk home.
So there i was, walking home in the rain, having just completed a shift that meant absolutely nothing at all.

Then i just decided to be happy. So what if i just worked 4 hours for nothing, so what if my managers hate me, so what if i have to walk home in the rain. SO WHAT.
It means absolutely nothing. Nothing. It's amazing how trivial it all is.

Joy should come from God alone and not our circumstances. I feel slightly ashamed at how easily my joy was taken away from me.

Next time you feel sad, just be happy.

My Life Via Webcam.

The following is a series of photos that symbolize the goings on in my life at the present time. i don't think the order will come out too good, so I'll just commentate in random order.
Me in a blonde wig, me with a curly fringe, me with pink head phones looking like a cross-eyed asian man (thats why i love it), me being HOT, me feigning shock at my idleness despite the business of my life, me crying because i have to use an ugly $25 phone cause i lost my old one, me in my work uniform and finally me disrespecting our Ancient History assignment.

enjoy.

No Drama.

Hey,
I just wanted to say something really quickly.

Drama sucks.

It is unnecessary and destructive. Some people LOVE drama. Every thing they do is about drama.

This could be you, yes you. The one reading this right now.

Maybe you make a big deal over things that don't need to be made a big deal about. Maybe you sulk. Maybe you pout when your opinion isn't heard. Maybe you are easily offended and you talk about it, continually bring it up and drag it out. Maybe you talk about people behind their backs. Create dramas about it, seek advice and "council" from others, when really, you just like the sound of your own voice.

You like the thrill, you like the attention, you are In Love With the DRAMA.

You may get a thrill out of drama, but it ruins other peoples lives.

Grow up, and figure out what your priorities are.

I am truly blessed to have such wonderful, easy-going friends.

....Gotchya.

i could just die of happiness

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9-QZ7-CIEWo
Gaiz. I made a video.

And it is all truth.

Holly and Erin, whos next? ;)

I had the best moment of my life this afternoon.

Let me set the scene.
Me and my mum in the car, and a small bus filled with rowdy children.

As we passed the bus, the children stuck their upper bodies out of the bus and started screaming and shouting, and i just looked at them strangely.
It was a little something like this, actually:

Just imagine me, a moody teenager, in the car beside them.

And they continued yelling and laughing, and then i realised they were trying to befriend me. So i looked at them like this:















Then we caught up with them again, and we were going crazzzaaaay. The windows were down, the roof was open, we were all screaming.

i looked at them like this:

 And then my car turned left, and their little bus kept going straight.

And we stuck our heads out and kept screaming until we were completely separated.

I cried when i put my head back in the car.

And my mother and i, drove on in silence, and quiet tears rolled down my cheeks.

I will never forget that little bus full of heros.
beautiful, loud, angry, heros.

Love

my friends are wonderful.

I really really appreciate you guys.

Never in my life have i ever felt so secure in my friendships,

Our friendship group is a sanctuary. I feel like it can enter the group in a lunch time, and just laugh and feel safe and nice.

It really is a family. We never fight, we never get angry, we just love eachother.

We care about eachother, and love eachother and have no time for the rest.

Some people call that being fake, i think that is the realest you can get.

I love you guys :)

Damn.

I am feeling slightly sucky at the moment.

It is roughly 4 months until my birthday. I will be 17, i will be at the age of acquiring a licence and i will not have it.

It will also be the last day of school.

It will also be the formal.

I guess i imagined the formal to be some wonderful, magical night, but now everything is falling apart. And i just feel depressed and sour.

I should probably just sleep it off.

Pens.

Just deciding my future based on pens.

It's always been a toss up between UQ and QUT.
But now, I think I've finally decided.

Looking at the pens both universities handed out, there is a clear winner. And that is my dream University.


 QUT it is!

Well,  I certainly hope so.

I talked to the Dean of some Faculty at QUT yesterday, and I was astounded!
He was a Minister of Australia, he worked his way up the ranks in Australian Politics after studying at QUT.

UQ has absolutely no pull any more.
Sure, the Sandstone buildings are impressive and it is a reputable University, but so is QUT! Heellloooo 90% full-time employment rate after just 4 months of graduating XD

And Gardens Point Campus....... gahhh. CBD. River. Trees out of a fairy tale.

QUT is my dream.

My friends, I have a DREAM!!!!!! :D

Joy Comes in the Morning

The Morning is such a beautiful time.
Once you get over the initial inertia, it is truly the most wonderful time.

This morning i woke up at 5:00.
that's 2 and a half hours earlier than usual. That's 2 hours where the world is still dark, the air is cold, and I get to be with me.

It's 6:40 and the world is still dark and quiet, the house is still asleep. I'm making porridge in the kitchen, and it is wonderful.

Thank you for winter mornings.

Just In Case We Forget.

Friends.

I have realized that i have the best friends in the world, and i do not show my appreciation nearly enough for them. Something i have also realized is that you often don't appreciate friends until someone comes along and appreciates them better.
But my friends, i love you. So very very much. Please don't ever go away.
But right now, I'm just going to write about my friends that will actually read this XD

Erin Sheppard. You are stunningly beautiful and funny and loving and caring an generous. You make me laugh so very very hard. I feel so comfortable around you, like seriously, i think we were separated at birth or something. I absolutely adore spending time with you, and i never ever ever wanna stop being best friends. Remember our pact? You'd better remember.
Erin, you are so talented and lively and colourful. You may seem quite and strange at first, but you light up a room. You are a blessing in my life, Erin.I feel like we know eachother so well. I know i get annoying sometimes, and sometimes i get annoyed at you for stupid things, but I love you very dearly. I love the hope you give me, the support you give me, the stories you give me, and the companionship. Thank you for being there for me, always. Thankyou for being my friend no matter what. You've seen the very worst of me, and you still love me. I want to keep on talking about you, but i can't quite seem to.

Holly Banks. You are one hilarious turd-face. And i mean that in the most loving way possible. I love you like an obese child loves cake. I don't think i can find the right words, but you light up my life so much. Sometimes i think we are the same person. Earballs. All the time. You would think that would get annoying, or that people who are so similar would clash, but we don't. I think we had one real fight, and that was sorted pretty quickly :P
I still remember when we were in the city, and i did something annoying and you said something and i started sulking or something, then within 5 minutes we'd both apologized. That is real friendship. I don't quite remember how we became real friends, but somehow it happened, and i am so thankful to God that it did happen.
Holly you seem to have the whole package. You've got the most fantastic personality ever, you've got the most stunningly attractive face, the best talent in the guitar/vocal/piano/flute/anything you desire to pursue, and you've got a God who seems to protect you no matter what. Look back on your life, and how many times has God actively protected you? it really is quite astounding. So many people would kill for such obvious evidence of love.
Holly, my dear, I love you very much.

Adam Thomas. You were my first ever male best friend. I had a big crush on you in grade 4. I told my closest friends that out of anyone in the grade i would marry you. And that continued on until about grade 9. I remember in grade 7 i hugged you just because i'd never hugged a boy before. Your house was the first boys house i ever went over as MY friend (and not a parents friend or a friends friend). I remember you told me my eyes were wrinkly. I have always respected you sooooo much. I remember when i was younger, i genuinely thought you were perfect. I couldn't remember a time when i saw you sin. I used to want to spend time with you just so that some of the goodness would come off on me.
You make me laugh an insane amount, and i really do love spending time with you. i miss the city-trips, i miss sleazey yogenfruz, i miss Extension art and the art room "tension" and the overall time spending. i miss a lot of stuff.
I just want to say thank you for being there for me in my exceptionally tough times. You've always been so sympathetic and supportive. You have always found the loveliest things to say to me, to encourage me and lift my spirit. I'll never forget that. I love "ya" Adam.

Kyra McGill. You are such a strong, loving girl. You love God so much, and i can tell. One thing i love about you, is that you are so sweet and you fix situations up. If you feel something is wrong, you clear it up and make sure everything is fixed. I love that. it takes a great person to do that. That you so much for encouraging me, and talking to me, and praying with me. It really means so much to me, Kyra. I really do value you as a friend. Although we don't sit together every lunch time or talk every second of the day, i know that you are a friend that will always be there for me. And i thank you so much. You are such a beautiful girl. I love you, Kyra.

Esther Blueburger. You are such a sweet, loving, caring girl. You have such a big heart. You make me laugh with your slaps and quirky little sayings :P
One thing i love about you esther, is that you make an effort. You make an effort to see how I'm doing, you make an effort to say hello to me. Even if it's just a squeeze of the arm, i know that i have a friend in you. You are stunning, Esther. Your beautiful "violet" eyes and silky brown hair. Just gorgeous. UGH STINK! Ewww seewagge... GRRRROT! ahahahah
Esther, you are a very blessed girl, and your morals are rare and precious. Never give them up, and never let any one tell you other wise. They are a girt from God and a strength in you. it is very admirable. Keep shining darling girl :)

Samm Osbourne. Although I only really got to know you at the beginning of this year, i am glad that i have. We don't talk all that often, but whenever we do, i come out of it uplifted and happy. I think we are quite similar in our thoughts, our relationship with God and in some kinda strange way maybe our personalities. Don't know if that might be an insult to you... but heheh. Samm, you really are an inspiration. You are doing so many things for God and they are coming from the right place. I've seen you in some sticky situations, and you have always handled them with grace and love. I respect that.
On top of all the deep stuff, i have fun with you, and i do enjoy spending time with you. I'm glad that you are in my life :)

Kate Armstrong. It saddens me that we hardly talk anymore, but that's okay, you are a very busy girl this year :P We've had some extremely fun times singing songs, sitting in the lady cave, going on fishing trips and planning on marketing "Dam Good Mud". I will never forget when we got in our bikinis and swam in a muddy dam and made mud bikinis ad exfoliated our skin. Our late night chats in the tent, and at all those student leader retreats were very memorable. Gee we talked about some very awkward things didn't we.
I remember our promise to be honest with eachother, i remember our big talks about God, and how i was your accountability partner, and i remember literally praying for you every night. You are a blesses girl, Kate. You are going places in your life. God bless you, always.

Olivia Alexander. We literally NEVER talk any more. the last time i saw you was probably when we were going to get our licenses, and you walked all the way to the school to tell us that you didn't have enough money. I actually feel really sad that we don't talk. You were always my special friend, that was incredibly cool and indie and mysterious and silly and random, and exactly like my inner self. We used to both be teachers-pet neat-freak goody-goody student leader christians. I'm not a teachers-pet, neat-freak, goody-goody any more, i don't know about you :P
I think you have a gift of making people feel loved and comfortable. And you have a great gift of connecting to people, your just one of that kind.
i remember one of the hardest nights of my life, when i wasn't a student leader any more and every one was clogging up my newsfeed with photos and wallposts about the new captains and prefects, and you posted on my wall "You are a sweetie <3" and that honestly made my night. Since i couldn't stop crying. i'll never forget that.

Friends, I love you lots. Don't forget that.

Radical Christians.

Hot or Cold?

Which are you?

Simple, simple question.

Are you hot?

On fire for God. Burning every second because you want to be near to God. Every breath you take is for God. You inhale God. You need God. Without God your life is black. Without God your life would be nothing. Everything you do is in accordance with Gods will. You feel an eternal restlessness, awkwardness and burning desire to be any where other than where you are now, because now isn’t close enough to God.

Are you hot or cold.

Are you cold?

You feel absolute hatred for God. You constantly do evil things and feel nothing about it. You enjoy hurting people, you enjoy suffering. You sin, and you like it. You feel a raging emptiness and you fill it with stuff. You know things are bad, but you do them anyway. You hate what is good, you hate what is right, and you hate what is pure. You fight what is good. You fight God. God is the enemy. God is good, but you hate good. Good is bad, boring, lame, and meaningless. Meaning to you, is whatever feels best.

Are you hot or cold?

Chances are, you are somewhere in between.
You are a luke warm Christian.

And God hates that more than he hates the cold ones.

GOD HATES IT.

Why do Christians ignore that particular part of the bible?

Do Christians even read the bible?

Do Christians even read the word of the God they swear is their whole life?

Interesting.

Why do you think God hates Luke-warm Christians?

I think it is quite simple.

Imagine you have a business. A great business that you have dedicated your life to. Heck, you’ve even given your sons life to. Imagine the lives of your sons and daughters depended on it.

Imagine you start hiring people to manage your company. You give them your name, you adopt them and you hand over your responsibilities to them.
Imagine they DON’T take on your responsibilities, live the way they always had, yet still proclaim your name.
Instead, they are giving you a BAD reputation instead of glorifying you (the sole purpose of their existence) and saving no one.

Bad analogy, I know. But the point is still the same. How can we expect God’s riches and Gods reward when we do not give everything of ourselves?
How can we not take all of God when it is being offered?

 God will draw to you the amount you draw to him.

Paul Washer,  my favourite preachers told a story about a boy that he saw dying on the side walk. He was shot 5 times in the stomach by a Muslim, because he refused to deny the name of Jesus.
That boy was 5 years old.
That is a radical Christian.
He went on to ask how we can claim to be radical Christians because we wear a T-shirt, because we go to a Christian music festival, because we lift our hands when we sing.

We are not hot Christians, and God hates that.

I am so burdened right now because God has put on my heart this truth.

We are doing every thing wrong.

I am laughing hard.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=79TNNpBH43w&feature=related

Erin and I attempt to bring Sexy Back.

So erin and i wanted to sing a song. We chose Sexy Back, among many others.
Please, ignore my laughing like a disabled person at the end. The awkwardness overwhelmed me.
Thanks,
Mariah.

My Loves.

these are the males i have grown up loving, and currently love.
enjoy.

Just a few that i can currently think of :)

well.... that was awkward.

So Bec and I are walking in the city, about to head to the train station.
This Guy wearing a Blues Jersey is walking towards me. He looks me up and down -very obviously- and says "Niiice."
So i say "Blues Supporter", then look him up and down very obviously and say "Shame."


*Awkward Fox*

At the time i did not realise he was being seedy. But now i look back, and it was pretty darn obvious. But hey, it's all over now.

A Very Rational Fear.

I have a secret.

i am a very scared human being.

I am scared of many things, but mostly people.
I am terrified of pain inflicted by other people, and i am terrified of losing people I love at the hands of other people. I am sick with fear of torture. I am terrified of being close to tragedy.

I am afraid of blood, afraid of death and afraid of being afraid.

Do you know that feeling, that feeling of crippling fear. Your heart beats incredibly fast, and you can't move at all... no matter ho hard you try, you can't scream, or make a single sound.
I am terrified of feeling that. No, i am terrified of legitimately feeling that.
I am terrified of actually waking up to noises in my house, and not being able to move. I am terrified of that moment where it might actually be the end.

I was never scared of monsters. I was always scared of people. It's at the hands of people that billions of people die. People are so incredibly cruel. Humans can round up other humans and gas them. Humans can rape other humans, murder other humans, take other humans, torture other humans.
and that capability is in all of us.

Billions of people have legitimately felt fear. Billions of humans have felt torture while they die. And thousands are probably going through torture this very second.

I don't want to die alone, and I don't want to die afraid.

I hate being the last person awake. I don't know why, i just do.

Every night i pray very hard for the people I love. Crazy praying. Crazy looney on drugs praying. Selfish praying. I couldn't stand to lose anyone that I love. I honestly think the pain would kill me.

It's easy to hear about people suffering, people going through unimaginable pain, but at least we can switch off when it gets too hard to handle.

Thank God we are living in a safe country right now. Thank God we are the privileged few in this demented world.

Please God, let us remain untouched.

5 3 1

Not Enough.

Continued.

No, it is not enough.
it is not enough.

When i was a child, i pictured what it would be like when i met God in heaven. I imagined running into his arms and laughing and crying and talking about absolutely everything. As i grew older i started thinking about how it would be like for the people who make it to heaven, but never had a close relationship with Him. I've always wanted to get to heaven, see God, and recognize him. Because we've already been friends my whole life.

I think our society has reached an age of misinterpretation, or, more likely, free-interpretation. We are all aware of the sweeping New Age Culture I presume. For those of you that kind-of know what it means but aren't entirely sure, this is it in a nutshell: Do what you want, when you want, nobody can tell you it's right or wrong, 'cause right or wrong is truth, and truth is relative. According to Cardinal Paul Poupard, "New Age is a misleading answer to the oldest hopes of man".
Christianity is almost completely opposite to the New Age Cutlure. Jesus-centred, instead of self-centred. Absolute instead of Relative. I could go on to list more, but these are the main, corrupted points in comparison of the two cultures.

Cultures. That is an issue i have. Today, people define Christianity as a culture instead of a religion. I say Christianity IS a religion. Should be a religion. "Christianity is a relationship, not a religion". BULL. Absolute Bull. I say that is just an excuse for bad behavior.

Today, we have a lot of half-casts walking around. These half-casts are an impure breed, coming from opposite cultures. They shouldn't belong anywhere, but they find a way to. They shouldn't exist, but they find a way to.
These people are New-Age-Christians, and i dare say they are you and I.

We love Jesus, but we are self-centred.
We have the Christian beliefs, but they are relative.

Christianity is a relationship! Not a Religion! I can do what i like! Jesus will forgive!
Okay, Well how close is your relationship then?
if that's what this culture is defined as.
How often do you pray, how much do you read, how often do you obey....

But, a relationship isn't defined by how much you read your bible or how much you pray! you could say.
Okay, well what defines a relationship then?
If i stopped talking to Holly or Erin, if i stopped caring about what went on in their lives, if i ignored them in public and if i deliberately went against the things they said, do you think we'd still have a relationship? What if i claimed that we were still friends, would that actually change anything?
And what if Holly and Erin and I never actually had a friendship to begin with. Maybe we just knew each other because our parents were friends.

In the bible it says that the fruit is a reflection of the tree. meaning: good tree = good fruit. Bad tree = bad fruit.
Good relationship = good actions. Bad relationship = bad actions.
So, fellow New-Age-Christians: how are your actions?

I am going to wrap this point around in hopefully a single paragraph.
Christianity should be a religion. The word "religion" has negative connotations, but it is necessary. According to Dictionary.com religion is defined as:

a set of beliefs concerning the cause, nature, and purpose of the universe, especially when considered as the creation of a superhuman agency or agencies, usually involving devotional and ritual observances, and often containing a moral code governing the conduct of human affairs.
2.
a specific fundamental set of beliefs and practices generally agreed upon by a number of persons or sects: the Christian religion; the Buddhist religion.
3.
the body of persons adhering to a particular set of beliefs and practices: a world council of religions.
4.
the life or state of a monk, nun, etc.: to enter religion.
5.
the practice of religious beliefs; ritual observance of faith.
6.
something one believes in and follows devotedly; a point or matter of ethics or conscience: to make a religion of fighting prejudice.
7.
religions, Archaic . religious rites.
8.
Archaic . strict faithfulness; devotion: a religion to one's vow.

Of course, they are some things that Christianity should not be attached to, but the bulk of that definition is all good! Stop defying the religion of Christianity. We a free, and we are free because of our religion. Our absolute truth.
We cannot hide behind a relationship, because our religion is the relationship. With out the actions, the study, the prayer, the dedication, sacrifice and time, we have got no relationship.

Christians need to be Absolute. The bible says we are to live pure, righteous and blameless lives. I know NO ONE who lives like that.
The bibles only command is that we LOVE ONE ANOTHER.
I know NO ONE who lives by that command.

The truth is that we are drowning. The truth is that we have no hope.
But why accept that?!
Why accept that, and say "Jesus forgives me" while continuing on sinning and drowning and dying.
That, my friend, is the life of the New-Age-Christian.
The New-Age-Christian hears God's word and says "That doesn't apply to me.
The New-Age-Christian says "Well, if you look at the context of that verse, you see it doesn't really apply" or "That is a metaphor"
No. The word of God is the word of God.
Stop diluting it, stop polluting it.
The word of God is absolute and in no way relative.

If the bible says we are to live Pure and Blameless lives... it means it.
And we had better try as hard as we can.
You will fail, again and again. And you will be forgiven, again and again.
And you will never stop trying.
And you will grow closer and closer and closer and closer and closer and closer to God until you see his very face.

I'm in no means trying to discourage any one. In all honesty, i want to encourage you.
I love you guys, and i want you to have the best possible relationship with God. That way, when you see him in heaven, you will recognize him.
I believe any one who believes that Jesus is Lord will be saved.
I also believe we should take all of God, instead of just taking his gift.

i realise now this post makes absolutely no sense.
if you have any questions, or you think i've said something that's wrong, chances are we are actually on the same wave-length, I've just worded it different.

Peace out. And try your absolute hardest to live with God.