Flop.

Do you ever all of the sudden get that overwhelming feeling of guilt and realisation that millions of people are in extreme suffering, fighting for life and simply living day by day?
Do you ever get that anger and restlessness because there are children who are suffering in the world. I mean children! there has to be something so messed up in the world that people are beginning to turn on it's own children. Isn't it our job to protect them and nurture them? I mean, i can't really talk because i guess i am still a child. But i'm not really.

I was thinking the other day about how every one always says how kids are so young and impressionable. I always cast the comment aside and thought of myself as strong and capable of making my own decisions, but the more i think of it, the more i realise how heavily influenced I am by my surroundings. My opinion can be changed so quickly and i am constantly learning, constantly growing and constantly yet subconsiously watching. Watching the way friends behave, teachers behave, my parents behave, my family behaves and copying it. I'm constantly listening to peoples opinions and opening my mind to them. Youth really is a dangerous time, and then i think about the children who just grow up living in poverty. Grow up not knowing when they are going to live next. Grow up in absolute filth, with sickness all around. Constantly fighting as hard as then can to survive. I think of little kids whose main source of influence, love and affection sells them for as little as $50 to be prostituted.

I can't even imagine! I can't imagine the desperation that would drive that kind of decision. I can't even bring myself to think about the little girls when they are taken away from their families and forced into such a life. It makes me feel physically ill.

I clearly remember the worst night of my life.
I was on a camp, and my only friend was my bestfriend from school. I wasn't very confident so i kinda clung to this friend. And then i ended up doing something wrong without realising it, she ignored me for the whole night, i found out that this random girl hated me because i "replaced" her or something, and i was all alone. I had no friends, and i was at this talent night and i had to sit by myself and laugh and pretend that nothing was wrong. But oh my gosh, it was truly the worst night of my life. As soon as i was alone i just bawled my eyes out. For ages. One of those snotty, hiccup-y cries. Yessssshh.
But then again, I still knew that after the camp i would be able to come home to my Mummy and tell her everything. i would be able to come back to friends, come back to comfort. But even then, me and my friend talked about it that night and sorted things out. And we were best friends again. Oh my goodness, Thats so flippin unfair. The worst night of my life would definitely be the best night of some other kids life.

Thinking of that experience that i had, i can't stop thinking about how those little girls would feel, cause i know that i when i was a little girl, thats when i was the most insecure. Thats when i missed my mummy the most, thats when i cried the most and thats when i had the potential to feel the most alone. How would those little girls feel being chucked into the most brutal environment imaginable, with cold-hearted men and women who exploit them. Seriously, something must be dead inside of them to be able to do that, to little boys and girls.

Every 26 seconds. Every 26 seconds a new child is either sold or forced into prostitution. I dont know which would be worse. Being sold by your own family, and working there believing that you are saving them? or simply being tricked or forced.
Every 26 seconds little kids have to endure the most horrible stuff.
And i remember feeling violated when a random man smacked me on the bum with a newspaper. Like seriously... I cried.

Flop. Theres so much evil in the world, and it’s so easy to just forget about it, because its so distant, its so unrelatable, we can just forget about it and go on with our pretty, shiny, comfortable lives.

Complacent, Lazy, Selfish lives.

And I don’t think about those little kids as much as I should. I forget about them when I eat, I forget about them when I go to sleep in my warm comfy bed, I forget about them when I’m busy being stupid with friends. I always think that they are the minority, but they are the majority. We are the minority. And why, oh why was I so lucky to be apart of this minority?

I really hope I can make the most of it.