This is my last ever day as a 15 year old.

I rather like being 15.

and for some reason, i feel like crying about it.
16 seems like such a big age. More responsibility, more pressure, getting closer and closer to independance, closer and closer to breaking away... and it frightens me.

I like being 15.
Fifteen is happy.
I don't want to be 16. It just makes me want to cry. I don't want to move forward and grow up. I don't want to lose friends, i don't want to move away from my family. I don't want to give up anything. Okay great, and there are tears in my eyes. Pfft. Pathetic.

I was just reading my very first blog post and this was a fragment of what i said :

I remember as a small child me, Emily, Holly and Cat would pretend to be in a band, or be secret spies, or be ordinary girls with boyfriends. Or i remember times when Cat and I would ride wild stallions, Mine was black and hers was white (although, i think we swapped them around regularly, we both got jealous of eachothers horses)Or Emily and I would pretend to be Egyptians, I was the Queen, she was the slave (don't worry, she always WANTED to be the slave) or when Holly and I pretended to be stranded and we had to build our shelters... i forget what that game was called... but the point is that in all of these games, we were almost 90% of the time pretending we were 16. Now just dwell on this for a moment:

This year is our 16th year.

I find that a little scary. I mean, Block exams, year 11 camp, STudent leadership, some of us will be getting their learners and..and... we will be 16. Sixteen. zestien. ستة عشر. onaltı. seize. SIXTEEN!!!!

Oh well. I guess i don't have much to worry about, i mean... i only just turned 15. So "16. Sixteen. zestien. ستة عشر. onaltı. seize. SIXTEEN!!!!" is actually quite a long way off for me.

Well, now its not.

And i've been through most of the stuff up on that list, but still "16. Sixteen. zestien. ستة عشر. onaltı. seize. SIXTEEN!!!!" still faces me. In about 12 hours.
And even greater difficulties and scarier stuff faces me with next year.


Oh gosh i'm depressing.

I just feel sad and.... i dunno.

Although, good news! I didn't get smash pashed by a random drunk....yet.
So hopefully it will be my sweet 16th :D


goodbye.