Yesterday my day consisted of sleeping in till 9:00 (:O !!)
going on facebook, cleaning my room a bit, tidying the house, doing dishes, taking bin out etc and then organising some clothes to take to melbourne all in time for my Mum to return from the shops.

Then i watched some day time television, City Homicide and Hollyoaks... yuck.

Then I watched a movie "The Rebound"..... stupidest movie EVER. I am usually a sucker for Rom-coms, but seriously... i am growing tired of them. It was just a seedy, sexual movie that had absolutely NOTHING to do with love. And i only laughed when she went on a date with some random dude and he went into a port-a-loo and tried to make conversation while clearly doing a poo. a cheesey, unsatisfying movie.

And then i went of facebook some more, ate some more oranges (my mum is forcing me to eat at least 2 a day to stay healthy in time for Melbourne) typed up some stuff for Art, photoshopped some pictures and then read "The diary of a Young Girl"

Man, that book just makes me bawl my eyes out. Anne really has a way with words. Such a beautiful, beautiful girl. Sometimes its just in the little descriptions that move me, and other times it's like she's decribing me. I can draw so many parallels between her and me and my friends, she's just a normal teenage girl... even through out her hardships.

One thing that made me cry in the book was when she was describing (in mockery) Mr Dussel as he gets up every morning and prays for 15 minutes, on his knees, rocking back and forth. Can you imagine the desperation that would drive those prayers? He was praying to my God, and it seemed like He wasn't even listening. For later on, Alfred Dussel was to carted off - like the rest of them - to a concentration camp to die. And Peter! Beautiful, sweet, quiet Peter was forced into a death march from Auschwitz to Austria! Only to die days before the camp at Austria was liberated! It just doesn't seem fair.

Anne get's the disease like Holly and I do, she feels insecure and lonely like other girls, she just randomly cries sometimes, like other people i know :P She experiences random "rages". She adores writing and making up stories and history and art and obsesses over boys... or just one boy (Peter).

One thing that really got to me was when she was talking about having two sides to her. The loud, happy, cheerful, in your face, occasionally seedy Anne, and then the quiet, deep, thoughtful and sweet Anna that bever gets a chance to come out. I'm pretty sure thats how most girls feel.

With me, it's more a Loud, annoying, over-the-top awkwardness that covers up the quiet, thoughtful, awkward girl who's unsure of what her place is in the world.
---when i was younger i was extremly shy. CRIPPLINGLY SHY! and then i came out more in Mr Gynthers class in grade 7... in grade 8 i hid some more, then in grade 9 in the B-Mores drama class i came completely out to the point of no return :S

I think teen years are just awkward. it's hard to determine where your place is.

But that girl, so much like every other girl..... (except for some EXTREMELY awkward bits in the book... Anne was just weird) Had to go through so much pain. That girl, who has become so significant in so many peoples lives, that girls whose most private thoughts have been made known was killed and tossed into a mass grave like an irrelevant piece of garbage. I wonder if her killers knew that she was special? No, they wouldn't have. How ould they have known that any of them were special.

Flop, i guess what makes me so sad when i read that book, is thinking about something like that happening to my friends :(

To Peter,
We've been missing out on so much here, so very much, and for such a long time. I miss it just as much as you do. I'm not talking about external things, since we're well provided for in that sence; i mean the internal things. Lke you, i long for freedom and fresh air, but i think we've been amply compensated for their loss. On the inside, i mean.

This morning, when i was sitting in front of the window and taking a long, deep look outside at God and nature, i was happy, just plain happy. Peter, as long as people feel that kind of happiness within themselves, the joy of nature, health and much more besides, they'll always be able to recapture that happiness.

Riches, prestige, everything can be lost. But the happiness in your own heart can only be dimmed; it will always be there, as long as you live, to make you happy again.

Whenever you're feeling lonely or sad, try going to the loft on a beautiful day and looking outside. Not at the houses and the rooftops, but at the sky. As long as you can look fearlessly at the sky, you'll know that you're pure within and will find happiness once more.