i got in the car today and i told my mum about my incident today, and i started crying. crying in the car.

I have not been yelled at by a eacher for about three years. in fact, i cant remeber a time when a teacher has yelled at me like that, but i'm going to assume there has been, and that it was three years ago.

was i disrespecting her? No.
was i deliberately disobeying her? No.
was i swearing? No.
was i causing myself or others physical pain? No.
was i bullying another student? No.
was i caught smoking or drinking? No.
was i doing anything illegal? No.
was i doing anything against school rules? No.
was i the only one involved? No.

Sure, i was being disruptive. But it hardly warranted that reaction. I was outside, 2 minutes till the bell, with permission, using an outside voice, talking to a student who had already been excused from class on the balcony.

OMG! they come storming outside yelling and carrying on, i say sorry and smile and pack my stuff up. But OH NO! I'm being "extremely disrespectiful" for walking away when they asked me to go inside.

Now they are "not impressed" with me.

I spent the lunch time on my belly. Immobile. With sadness. My entire day ruined.

I talked to someone in the class, and she said "well, she was already really annoyed with the class"

Okay, so that explains a bit. But still. It's not okay to blow your top and make a kid cry just because your feeling frustrated that day.

They say students dont know whats going on in teachers lives, well ditto.

You rarely see students blowing their tops because their frustrated with a class.



Sigh. I should really stop saying this stuff. but i just feel sad and angry and sad. I need to have a good cry. Maybe have some icecream.

Dear Teacher,
I'm sorry for yelling. I really didn't mean anything by it. It was only 2 minutes till the bell so i didn't think anything of it.
I understand that you were having a bad day and you were already annoyed and stuff, and i'm sorry about that too.
I hope you will forgive me for yelling and making your life a bit harder.
and i'm sorry for blogging about it.
But don't worry. Nobody reads my blog anyway.

From a student your not impressed with,
Mariah.

P.s. no sarcasm intended.