A Reason Why.

Us westerners move through life comfortably.

Happily, lazily, contentedly.
I don't care if contentedly isn't a word, it is now.

Us westerners have got it so good. Life is right on our doorstep. Our opportunities are almost endless. We have the option to work hard, and be rewarded. We have the option to succeed.

We have that option.

No matter what you say, i am saying it right now. You have that option.

It's funny, not in a ha. ha. way, but a sad, ironic sort of way, that westerners are the ones who make the most excuses, when they have the most opportunities.

Oh, why are the blessings bestowed on such unworthy people?!

Hardly any one aims high any more. And that baffles me.

I have a couple of theories:

1. People are scared of rejection and failure. People are afraid to lift themselves up, because the higher you rise, the further you fall.

This one is me. I have grown up with the mindset that if you never expect anything, then you will never be disappointed. I distinctly remember my 5-year-old self saying this regularly. "Mariah, Daddy will NOT show up. Mariah, the store will be closed. Mariah, they will NOT remember your birthday"
Isn't that depressing? That was my motto as a child. I guess i had to, or else i would be crushed over and over again, but i could have been a little more positive.

2.Plain laziness.

This one is also me. I'm comfortable where i am. I don't WANT to work hard. I actually like my life. So what if don't reach my potential? I kind of don't care. The only thing that will hurt is my pride. But you know what, i don't really care, because i've worked hard to prove to people that i have no expectations for my life anyway.

A little off track there, but hey. What ever. The main point is laziness. Now, people strive for comfort, not work. Effort and success is not as appealing anymore.



Okay, now time for some vulnerability.
I am terrified of rejection and high expectations.
I am terrified of humiliation and hurt pride.
I am terrified of putting myself out there, for something serious.
I am terrified of disappointing people.

I would rather people think i'm stupid, then think that i try and don't get something.

I don't like people to expect anything from me, or else i risk failure.

I am scared of having a dream, because if i do, I will only be disappointed.

I am terrified of wanting something, because the fall will always hurt more.

Wow, this is a very soppy, sentimental post, and i am rather embarrassed by it. But of course. People often are embarrassed by things that make them vulnerable.

Now for some comic relief, for my sake.

"I dream of a world where chickens can cross the road without being questioned."

well, it was funnier when i first saw it.

For the past year and a bit, i have been directionless.
I have had absolutely no idea what i wanted to do with my life, so i just trodded along, doing what i had to to just keep moving. Whatever direction that was in.

But now, i actually have a reason why!
I have a goal, and i feel excited.

I actually know what i want to do with my life, and it feels perfect.

But i scares me, because i don't like having goals.

Awkward cycle.....

but anyway, Mr Gilliver, if you ever randomly read this: Thank you.

Thank you for giving me that reason why. And even if doesn't work out, or i don't like it (I'm making excuses for my anticipated failure), i have a reason why now, and i driving force. And without it, I won't work as hard.

So yeah. Thanks Mr G.

I never, never would've thought of anything on my own. And i never would've discovered anything, and i never would have....... i don't know lot's of things. I wouldn't be this excited.


Long story short guys, get a reason why.

And talk to an awesome teacher who knows you better than a guidance counsellor.


Peace out, blog readers.