nobody comments here anymore.

nobody comments here anymore.

This brings me sadness.

If i go to the effort of writing about my day, you comment on it you inconsiderate fools!


Okay, now that you are feeling angry and saddened by the sentense above, take the time to simply comment about how it makes you feel.

We are a small community, so why don't we just take the time to comment. Even if it's just

"Cool Story Bro"

or

"you suck"

or

"I love you."


Because deep down, thats all we really want. Isn't it?

*que inspirational music*

TO HAVE OUR EXISTENCE RECOGNISED!

Out.

VERRY SAD STORIIIIII!!!!!
boi: y r u crying?!?!!??
grl: i fink im pregnunt :(
boi: ok I pull ow willy stp u get pregnunt
BOI PULL HIZ WILLY OFF 2 STP HIZ BRD GETTIN PREGGURZ
girl: I LUV U /333333333333333333333333333
DIS IS TRU LUV!
Like this is you didn't cry and couldn't understand a word the person who made this said

a Nights Progress, destroyed in a couple of Seconds.

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My Sister takes care of me.

Last night, i was spontaneous, and i had a burst of creative energy.

So at about 7:30 i started painting, and at 12:30 i was still painting in my bedroom.

But then i heard some distinst sounds coming from the kitchen... i thought it was odd, since it was 12:30 at night. So i was really quiet, and i heard Adams peaceful snoring in the next room, and i could not see any light coming from underneath the door.

But i shrugged the feeling and decided it was my imagination. Or cockroaches, or something.

But then i heard Charlie barking a lot, and growling and howling. And then i just kept painting.


Oh wow. It's ironic what i just found, and the title of this post.

anyway, continuining on.
I was keeping on keeping on painting, when i heard a few twigs crack... you know, the usual. But then i heard a very deliberate, laboured breath.
I tried to think of all the other possibilities but then i heard it again. My heart was racing, but i was proud of my response. I Flung open my door and bashed on my parents room and firmly yelled "Mummy!" then she jumped up, opened the door and i stayed in there while my knees shook. Then Adam searched the house, and i set up my mattress in Amitys room.

Partly because i want to protect her, partly because i didn't want to be alone, and partly because i just want to spend time with her.

My mum explained the situation to her and she said the me in the dark

"Mariah, You don't need to be scared. Daddy says the lions don't get us when we sleep."

I say "Thank you"

she says "thats alright"

I say "I love you"

And she says "Mariah, you've already broshed your teeth. So you have o go to sleep now."

I wait a few minutes and say again "I love you."

And she says "I love you too mariah."

Now for the Irony part of my post.
You know how i was painting that picture? Well, i was proud of it. I had it completely finished. A huge canvas, monocramatic colours. Before i went to sleep, i put it up high so that Amity couldn't get to it. In the morning, i took it down to work on it a little more... i'm a bit of a perfectionist when it comes to finishing touches. Then i leave to write a blog post.

In am interrupted by screaming and my mum saying "I am so sorry, I am so sorry Mariah!"

Amity got to it.

Got a tube of paint, squirted it all over it, and started brushing. But dont worry. It was only on the unimportant parts like the eyeballs, nose, mouth, hair, neck and shoulders that she covered.

Sigh. I cried for a bout half an hour. I shouldn't of done it, but i kinda blamed my mum. And i feel bad. but i said to her - whilst crying - "Why weren't you looking after her?!"

Amity felt really bad too. You should've seen us, both bawling our eyes out and hugging and kissing. She kept saying sorry, and i told her that i forgive her, and she ran around the house announcing it to everyone that "Wiah Gorgives Meeee!!!!!!!"

Anyway, i am going to try and salvage my painting.

Later blog readers.

Random Old Man at work: You look beautiful!

Me: Ummm.... Thannnkkk youuuu.....

Random Old Man from the end of the line: Don't Listen to a word he says!

Me: *hangs head*

self loathing.

i feel such loathing for myself right now, but for no gain.
It would be worth it for the shot of adrenalin to get me through but noooo. Nothin. Just cold hard and rock solid procrastination.
Why can't the rest of my life be this consistent?
i wrote up a list of wants and needs for this holodays.
Needs: drama assignment, you know the one mariah, the one that you only get one chance to do. No more writing assesments for the assesments to back you up.
And art assignment.
What have i acheived? Nill.

Istead i wated all my time on the wants. Doing stuff that i can't do while schools still on. Stuff like reading, watching movies, sleepovers, outings. But, not much of that stuff went down either.

I am a hermit. If i could just live in bed, i would. I could probably live without social interaction as well. Secretlly.

You know what i've been doing instead?

Wacthing veronica mars. Religiously, obsessively.

I love that show, but seriously. Not cool. Antisocial and, just waste of time stuff. I invited erin over... And we watched veronica mars. Very social and heart warming. It is a wonderful show, but just a heads up, i now consider everyone to be capable of murder. You are all suspects. I i am suspicious of everyone.
All my friends are alright, all adults are dangerous and capable of killing me, all males are capable of rape and all girls are capable of being secretly involved in gangs. All teachers are pedophiles and and all children are disturbed and emotionally abused.

Sigh. Don't worry. It's just a phase. But for now, i got my eye on you blog readers.

Senior Jersy = $85 Pajamas.

So, holidays have been pretty alrightly, boringly, hectic yet somehow nice. They have been going so flipping fast, yet i dont think i've done anything with them so far.

Heres what has happened so far:

- Nathans Party. Brilliant, and terrifying.

- Church

- Learning songs

- ERINS CITY TRIP PARTY!!!! (which means i now have no more spending money :P which is alright, it shows the depth of my love for that beautiful girl)

- Work straight after, which was actually alright. 5 and a half hours, with a half hour break. I think what made it good, was that a new girl was there. So i had to teach her stuff. Also, my manager trusted me, gave me responsibilties. He had to leave for a while on an emergency, and he gave me the keys to the entire store.
Thats the thing, kids will never be anything if you dont expect anything from them, or give them responsibilities. Every one is a leader, every one should have high expectations placed upon them, supervisors badge - or any badge for that matter - or not. So stop whinging about how bad you've got it because of all your expectations. Expectations are a blessing. Use them, please.

- Went to Amitys swimming lesson, then Amity and I spent the day at Chipmonks. Which was fun. My mum said something strange to me. She said something along the lines of: Mariah, I love watching you and Amity together, seeing how much you love eachother, i love your spontaneous cuddles and kisses and watching you laughing together. Isn't that strange??? It's normal. Thats what siblings do, especially when there is an adorable little 3 year old involved!
oh my goodness, and the funniest thing. You know the giant jumpng castle slide? Well there was a dad there, and he looked like he was having too much fun. he was "helping" his child go up and down the slide. Funny thing was, the child seemed just fine by himself. The dad didn't even go down with the child. In fact, he waited for the child to go down, then did flips and tricks on the way down. He did this repeatedly. Repeatedly.
My mum and i were commentating all his actions. Which was a lot of fun. Poor dude.

- And yesterday, i can't even remember what i did. I think i went into a shop. And there was a male shop attendant, and my mother asked me later if i thought he was cute. I laughed, cause all i saw when i looked at him was beard, beard, beard. You can't be cute with a beard. You just looked like a hobo. (P.s, if you read my blog and have a beard, I'm sincerely sorry. Obviously this doesn't apply to you :)

- today. i slept in till 10:30 then went for a walk to the library, spent 3 hours in there just browsing, got a few books out, went to the dvd shop, got ONCE out, and went home. It was hot. And i realised that my white dress, pink 3/4 jacket, gladiators and robert pattinson sunnies are not for the streets of burpengary. I felt out of place. I must admit, i was kinda expecting a nice stroll to the library, with lovely fresh air. But no. It's thursday. Bin day. So fresh air, was not the story.

Okay, i'm going to bed. I got a headache. I blacked out today. Some seizurey thing. I get those when i hurt myself badly, and i knocked my knee pretty hard. And i guess i've had a headache since.

Good night lovely blog readers.

So no matter what been through, no matter what you into
No matter what you see when you look outside your window
Brown grass or green grass, picket fence or barbed wire
Never ever put them down, you just lift your arms higher
Raise 'em 'til your arms tired, let 'em know you here
That you struggling, survivin', that you gon' persevere
Ain't nobody leavin', nobody goin' home
Even if they turn the lights out, the show is goin' on.

^Amity and I like this song.
Even if it occasionally swears in the uncensored version, the lyrics are sweet. Good on you Lupe Fiasco. There are so many people that need encouraging.

And it breaks my heart.
everyone needs a little hope.

no more block exams this term for mariah :D

Although, i'm sure i failed all my exams.

English, i rambled on like a bumbling maniac about absolutely nothing in particular, and i assure you, i did my study, which depresses me even further)

Maths A, they had a whole bunch of questions i wasn't prepared for, and i assure you, i did my study.

Ancient History. Blerghhh. I hated it. I'm positive i did poorly. Multi choice questions baffled me, and i didn't have a clue about half of them. Once again, i did my study.

MAPS Maths was difficult and time consuming. And i assure you, i did not study one ounce for it.

oh my oh my. I am doing so badly. so so badly. And it's the year that counts.

Why oh why does fate torment me so?!?

SO, i was happy. i had everything planned. i got friday and saturday off work, the days i usually work.

i thought, okay. So, tomorrow i do my last exams, then i get my costume, do some stuff at the school and then go home, relax and it's OVAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

But no. I go into work, check the roster, and BAM. They put me on from 5 - 9 tomorrow.

Why oh why does this depress me so entirely?!

My plan feels ruined. And i hate it. There is a distinction of non-pleasure breaking up my distincly stress free time.

GGGGGGGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.


I hate this more than i should.